Watching my two kids navigate the college decision process was both eye-opening and emotionally exhausting. As a mother of two college-age students, I saw firsthand how the pressure of applications, deadlines, and the fear of making the “perfect” choice weighed on them—and their friends. The stress wasn’t just about getting into a good school; it was about choosing a path that would define their future, and that level of expectation created anxiety I hadn’t fully anticipated.
The statistics back up what I witnessed. A College Rover study found that 13% of students abandon college plans due to stress, while 25% seek therapy for application-related anxiety (Parents.com). I saw this play out in real time—late nights filled with self-doubt, endless scrolling on TikTok for advice (something 37% of students use to manage application stress), and the crushing disappointment when an acceptance (or rejection) letter arrived. Even once the decisions were made, the “Did I choose the right school?” doubts set in.
It’s no surprise that mental health is playing a bigger role in college decisions. A national EAB survey found that nearly a third of students are reconsidering college altogether due to mental health concerns (EAB.com). Financial stress is another massive factor, with a survey by Ellucian revealing that 59% of students have considered dropping out due to financial strain, and nearly 80% say financial concerns negatively impact their mental health (Ellucian.com).
So, how do we help our kids? If I could go back and do it again, I’d remind them (and myself) that there’s no one perfect path. Start early, keep communication open, and encourage them to explore options beyond the traditional four-year route if that feels right. Most importantly, I’d tell them that their worth isn’t defined by a college acceptance letter.
The transition from high school to adulthood is overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be crushing. As parents, our role isn’t to eliminate the stress—it’s to support them through it.
